Really Does She Like Me?

Reader matter:

i’ve been friends with this particular woman for some time. She left her date. We’ve been texting plenty – like 200 emails per week. We hold acquiring blended indicators from this lady, and I love her. Can I do it? But I do not would you like to ruin the relationship either. We also spend time, and I also think she actively seeks me personally within the places.

-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)

Specialist’s Response:

Hi, Ivan. Many thanks for trusting us with this particular essential individual concern.

There are a lot of possibilities to explain what’s happening here, but I want to offer you my personal “take.” To start with, you state she’s giving combined indicators, which most likely means she actually is confused rather than certain of what she desires.

She could still have feelings or expectations for all the union she only remaining, or she may be waiting for you which will make a step. She might still maintain the healing up process, and she may not be ready to be observed openly with another man but.

Texting might her means of trying and linking nowadays while she finishes psychologically disconnecting from her ex. She may also be confused if the woman friendship available occasionally seems likes it is developing into some thing larger, but she actually is undecided should you decide “like” like the lady.

For you, Ivan, you are in a rather precarious area now. She actually is from the rebound and requires mental support. She trusts both you and feels much better whenever she shares some messages or hangs down with you. She looks for you inside the places because she likes you, within one means or any other, that is certainly where you need to be cautious. Should you put the relationship very first above the desire for internet dating the girl as a girlfriend, you’re in severe chance of getting directed to your “friend zone,” and that’s a difficult destination to escape from.

My personal guidance for you is to obtain alongside the lady and chat face-to-face. It must be previous and shorter than a proper go out, nevertheless provides you with a concept if she desires view you or perhaps not. Inform the lady she needs to move out and take an hour or so to chuckle and take pleasure in herself and you also would really like the chance to speak to the lady in a bit more degree, as well. Choose a spot where your friends never ever go – possibly a Starbucks across town – so she’ll feel as if her privacy has been protected.

Ask her exactly how she’s undertaking and when this woman is truly done together with her ex. Spend extremely attention to the woman gestures. Is she leaning closer or out? Is she big-eyed and cheerful, or separated and careful? Is she operating “girly” or like a buddy?

There is one more thing you should do: Tell the girl really matter-of-fact manner in which you prefer this lady. Then cannot state another term. She’s getting the second anyone to speak. Take a look the lady directly inside the vision so she will visit your energy plus sincerity. Boldly and confidently understand her neck or fingers. Just make sure she knows you are searching for her in an enchanting man-woman style of means.

End up being strong and type but never emotional or desperate. Make this lady wish to come to you for the caring and comfy guy you will be and not the nice guy who is “secure” and benign. Her real ideas and purposes should unveil themselves as the dialogue unfolds.

Go for it,